PhD in Douchebaggery

We get all kinds of people in the library. Young, old, poor, rich, black, white, yellow, orange, green. S-M-R-T and not so S-M-R-T. Occasionally we get a real superstar, though. Take Mr. PhD in Geophysics.

Mr. PhD in Geophysics comes in the other day with his son. Son goes off into the Children's Room to browse while Mr. PhD in Geophysics fills out an application for a library card. Upon presenting his application at the circulation desk, Mr. PhD in Geophysics is informed that, since he lives in a neighboring county, he needs to first procure a library card from that county and then we can add him to our system. Mr. PhD in Geophysics then states that he and his family will be moving to our county soon and he doesn't want to get a library card for the county in which he currently lives. The staff member at the circulation desk then offers him the nonresident card, which costs $25. He proceeds to puff up like a great indignant balloon and is sent to the Information Desk to speak to a supervisor.

My colleague, who is also a Librarian and is also at the Information Desk with me, fields him first. She reiterates what the circulation staff member has already told him. He says he has a PhD in Geophysics, and this is the only library he has ever been to where he could only get a card if he paid. She explained that he can get borrowing privileges for our library for free, but that first he would have to get a card for his home county.

He continues to bluster that he has a PHD!!! In GEOPHYSICS!!! And he has library cards from all over the country!!! Like Boston!!! And I stepped in at this point and said that that is all fine, well and good, but he was not going to be checking out a book from our library until he brought in a card from the neighboring county, coughed up $25, or moved to our county. At which point he is still arguing that he has a PHD IN GEOPHYSICS and that NO WONDER EVERYONE IN THIS STATE IS ILLITERATE. I gave him the number of our administrative office and he collected his son, saying the "Book Nazis" weren't going to let them check anything out, and huffed out.

PhD. And the D stands for Douchebag.