Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Seagull Stalker

I was reminded today of one of our most bizarre patrons, mainly because her husband came in looking for some more information of how to contact a certain Seagull. Of A Flock of Seagulls.

I am not making this up.

This woman came in a few months back with her husband. She's really tall, heavyset, and has a 5 o'clock shadow. Yep, she shaves. Her face. She comes to me and says her Favorite Band in the World is A Flock of Seagulls and her favorite in the band is Paul Reynolds. She wants more information on him in particular, so I get her on a computer and get her to his website.

She and/or her husband come in a couple more times in the interim, apparently when I'm not there.

Her husband came in alone today. He first wanted to know if we had a telephone book for Liverpool, England. When I told him no, he wanted me to see if I could find a telephone number for Frank Maudley (I think that's another Seagull) in Liverpool, England. I warned him that he more than likely has an unlisted telephone number, but I looked anyway.

Seems like they had managed to track down Ali Score (yet another Seagull) in North Carolina, and he told them to contact this Frank Maudley guy in Liverpool, as he had "more contact" with Reynolds and would be able to help them track down Reynolds.

This woman is scary. Her husband is pretty fed up with it. But really, how fed up can he be if he is coming in for information for her by himself? She is beyond obsessed. And I wonder, at what point do we say we can't help them anymore?

Glad I'm not famous, or that I haven't been famous in the past 20 years.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Salt of the Earth

These are the people in my neighborhood (and my library's neighborhood)...
They're the people that I meet each day.

1. 300-pound lady in zebra print halter top (shudder) and shorts

2. Upper-middle-aged lady with gold lame' spaghetti strap tank top. With no bra.

3. Man wearing shorts with black socks (repeat x200).

4. Basic proto-industrial-goth kid. A surprising amount of them, actually, since that style ship sailed, oh, I dunno, about 5 years ago. Then again, we're not exactly on the cusp of fashion here.

Not that I'm a fashion plate, but I do take pains to look 1) well-groomed and 2) if not fashion-forward, at least not woefully outdated. I think a large majority of the people in this fine county may very well not own mirrors.

*sigh* I guess this means I'm a snob.